My Testimony

Some of you in this generation at the dinner may think that I have never given my testimony here. I definitely have one but I never knew how to do it until recently. I never knew why not have sex unmarried until I experienced destruction. I didn’t realize when I was young that it was wrong to have sex out of marriage and that I was accountable to God for it. There would be no heaven for me. Jesus said even looking at a woman to have lust for her was committing adultery and then actually doing it was too much sin. The dissipation or being run down from it was just too much. It is one of the sins unto death like lying, drunkenness, fornication and idolatry and others in the Bible.
There was nothing I could do to wash away the guilt and shame. There was no trust in the woman and it was like I had entered some forbidden territory, where I was trying to have a relationship with someone I didn’t know or trust and I was leaving no stone unturned to make it happen. So it was almost desecration to my soul. I learned I would be judged by the Ten Commandments and that I would be found guilty and would be sent to hell.
When I started obeying the Lord, it was such a relief. There is no guilt in righteousness. Sin is hard and a source of depression. How do you think you would do if you were judged by the Ten Commandments tomorrow? God hears all our thoughts and sees all we do. He knows everything, even the sins in our thought life. He is everywhere and He wants to know what we are doing. He is our judge, provider, lover of our soul, forgiver of our sin and He is our peace. But if you do not have peace maybe it is because of your sin.
If you have God there is no worry, no fear in relationships: is this person right? Am I cool enough? And breakups!- only one breakup per person should be allowed in a lifetime! God will teach us love of our mate which we are married to and we can avoid disaster. I hung my sin on the cross and stopped suffering for it. Jesus already did that! God teaches us how to love our specific mate just what she needs. Just like when we find a mate and get married we learn all the wrong stuff and do everything wrong without Christ. But if we do this God’s way we won’t make so many mistakes. We can TRUST GOD to find the right person for us and make it work out well.
There won’t be any trying out partners. After a time of this you’ll get judgment and after a life time of partners you’ll get judgment. And don’t be idolizing famous people who make a mockery by disobeying God and then making it so romantic by dying young as they do it their own way. They didn’t have it so good. They were honest but now they don’t have it so good.
So I repented to never do it again. Take my sin, I said and give me eternal life. I was sincere. I was a Christian I knew better. God taught me by ten years of celibacy and isolation and fear. I was a dork. But I said I’ll do it and accepted Him Hook, Line and Sinker. It‘s working out.