I am getting to trust the Lord. He is starting to bless me in the difficulties of my life. Not with gold or silver but taking a misfit, like me and giving me a place in my church. Teaching me to forgive and relate even to my enemies. There are people who need a friend in this group- a nonjudgmental, understanding friend, to talk to about anything. The others He is teaching me to love in the same solid way He made me. I can love and I can forgive, I can give space and watch people grow in their relationships.
It’s not so bad, I get to be up here and be an usher. People come and go but Jesus tests the righteous. He makes them ‘more righteous and beholds the upright’. That means a lot to me, it is not impersonal. He constantly is my friend, always treats me the same, I can say anything to Him. He does what He wants towards what I do and who I am. He has to see me to behold me. It is kind of intimate. Some of these ideas are from Psalm 11.
If I remember correctly I was a real good kid. I was an angel in second grade, but then I started getting in trouble in third and fifth and sixth, to where I was writing stuff on the outside wall about the teacher with a green apricot. Hard to get off, but I washed that wall for a week. In eighth grade I was kind of quiet and not looking forward to high school. High school I ran for class president and gave a good speech but lost to one of the bigger, cooler guys. I was quite depressed in 1966. Then in ’67 I smoked pot for the first time. It was all downhill from there for 19 years. It made me paranoid and psychotic. My quietness was brought out, so that never a word was spoken when high. High school was not normal I became a loner and was sad and inferior. They say you have a 500% bigger chance to become schizophrenic if you smoke pot, according to schizophrenia.org- a forum.
I got my thrills from walking in the hills near my home, thinking and going to concerts. A couple girls knew me to be maladjusted and unfriendly. I didn’t want kids so at 18 joined the navy. I did my share of drugs there and the Navy sucked, but I got college. That was 1972. No more ‘summer of love’ and Haight –Ashbury was full of speed. I moved away from the Bay Area.
Such is life, that’s me. Oh what a wicked web we weave. When I got done there was not much life left. But when I started to obey the Lord He restored me to life. I need Him, I need His people and I had the greatest time at church last Sunday. Just doing my job and going with the Holy Spirit. A little attention goes a long way with me.
Surely you can drum up a little attention, now and then it is not hard to come by, just get involved. The Word is not hard from which to get attention, most of it is about you and the Israelites. Studying it is great. You can see yourself and others. It explains things and leaves you wanting more. I mean that in a good way. It will show you how things should be, are, and can be when we get into heaven.
One little life for God, that’s all you got to live. One life to do it right and love God and get to heaven. If you go your own way you’ll never get there. We just make too many mistakes. Put your life in God’s hands and He will guide you there. Trust God with your life, He is the only one really trustworthy to do that for you. God has the energy, the no-how, the strength, and the love that you need. He is the only one who does. He loves you with agape love, He knows everything, and is all powerful. He is the creator of the universe. He made those ole black holes up there. He is creating stars and supernovas that point the way to Him like a neon sign.
Look to nature you will see God, pray to God and He will become real. Be real with God accept Jesus and you will be saved. Get saved and see the universe.
When you are young, life just floats by and you bounce back often and keep trying. But when you get older and have been really hurt, you start getting wise and cautious. You want to do it right and not get hurt. Some of you may have been taught the Lord when you were younger, but many were not and don’t know they have that option. God is here he is the way to the perfect happiness you seek. It is in heaven though. You will probably never be perfectly happy here on earth. Your time will be taken up following the Lord or not. If you follow the Lord with your whole heart you will make it. If not and you just want to sin and be a jerk you will suffer the consequences.
It takes effort to follow the Lord. If you have no effort will your life even be fun? You have to work at everything fun. You will be the victim of evil unless you fight it. The devil comes but to steal, to kill, and to destroy. We are no match for him without Jesus. He does buzz off in Jesus Name. Be afraid if you are into the occult for it may turn bad all of a sudden.
But Jesus will not. He is good. He wants to give you that goodness and other things. He can give you something, but if you can’t keep it you will lose it. Remember the parable of the sower. The Sower sowed some seed on the wayside and the birds of the air or devil came and devoured it. They were lost then, they had nothing and it happened immediately. So if a seed gets sown plan on keeping it and be the seed on the good ground that grew and produced 30, 60, even a 100 fold.